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Values

Values. A story about Exercise, Diet, commitment, values, and Michelle Obama.

It was love at first sight.

My ex-husband introduced me to “Running,” a NO return love affair that has lasted over two decades. My married lasted a lot less. But our friendship has lasted until now too. So it was a win-win.

I have been following a healthy lifestyle my entire life. As a teen, I tried to smoke to be with the “cool kids” and quit almost immediately because, for me was disgusting.

 

Ethics, Respect, Honesty, Integrity Signs

I have never struggled, felt guilty, or lost control over food. I love healthy, well-prepared food. Love cooking. Enjoy being active.

Dislike sodas or Sweets, and since I discover running, my life has changed. And NO, this is not a speech about how beautiful Running is or how EASY it is for me.

Because for me, it wasn’t about running; Running/was convenient due to the lifestyle I used to have- In the corporate world. At and office, 12 hrs. a day. As most of you.

Truthfully, hiking, mountaineering, and diving were in my heart before running—the problem was I couldn’t do them alone and needed to drive far to practice them.

This article is NOT about complaining about the corporate world because I adore my career and have enjoyed and succeeded in every single position I have had for 20 years. I am not competitive in sports/ running.

 I am competitive at business.

Devil’s Wear Prada kind of competitive woman but way nicer.

This is about DOING WHAT YOU LOVE, following your TRUE VALUES.

Everything becomes easier when you find your passion. So the key to a healthy lifestyle is in your values and learning to apply them and connect them to a healthier YOU.

I had the opportunity to have fantastic Coaching sessions with one of the Master facilitators for Dr. John De Martini (The Secret) after I fell in love with his writing and read some of his books. 

The one that was a wake-up call for me was The Value Factor.

values factor book

And it explains a simple truth.

We always follow our true values; your values determine your life actions.

And OUR VALUES, the Genuine ONES, are not the “abstract” word we use: LOVE, PEACE, PASSION, HONESTY, INTEGRITY.

WHAT IS A VALUE?

Simply put, something that you hold dearly and want to do repeatedly. You don’t notice the time passing.

Our true values, the ones true to our hearts, emerge in our daily actions.

But most of the time, we DON’T want to pay attention to them, minimize them, or feel guilty about them. Instead, we follow a social idealism code or morality instead of being true to our authentic selves.

And I put myself as an example.

My Values are Love, Health, Knowledge (Exploring), and Travel. In that order of importance.

For example, My daily actions prove it with Health and Knowledge because I exercise and eat healthy food. I have been practicing that almost every day of my life.

Always go to the doctor, do my yearly physical exams, etc., and it’s the same with knowledge; every year, I take a class or seminar and spend an enormous deal of time and money on books and learning new things. Speak three languages, learning a fourth. You get the idea.

I don’t “HAVE TO,” I “LOVE DOING IT.”

So, suppose your principal value it’s NOT healthy living or Exercise. In that case, YOU WILL have problems being motivated to do it, and it’s normal.

We need to understand that there are:

INTRINSIC MOTIVATION AND EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION.

The first one is internal. Doing things that makes you feel good and happy. What moves you is an inner feeling, desire, or thought.

Extrinsic motivation is EXTERNAL. Community building, connecting with your partners, earning a medal, winning a contest. Etc

The stronger and healthier way of doing things or reaching a goal comes from within. That is what keeps us focused, constant, and inspired (not motivated )

DISCOVER WHAT MOVES YOU

  • First, you need to discover what TRULY moves YOU, inspiring YOU, and then the task: linking that VALUE to concrete actions to help you have a healthier approach based on YOUR VALUES.
  • Second, forget all preconceptions about how much, how often, what sport you SHOULD BE DOING or exercising, or how you must look, weight, or eat.

For example, if one of your values is FAMILY, walk with your kids, spend time with them “Moving,” and quit the gym where you are “alone.”

If one of your values is WORK and RECOGNITION, organize a workout gym time with your boss, coworkers, directors, etc., where you can discuss business and Exercise. Link health to the physical image that a successful executive would have. Health, Strong, full of energy. 

It is essential to understand that our values change over time (Yes, most teens value FUN playing video games, and IT IS NORMAL)

In our Teen years, social acceptance IS OFTEN what they value the most—in our 30’s, maybe getting Married, Family, and WORK. Economic security and so on.

This was clear to me while I was working on this value exercise, and then I discovered that my values changed from day to night when my son was born.

And I do not know where I had this concept that our values never change. I used to believe that. 

If I value honesty, I will be honest my entire life, correct? But again, that is an abstract concept and an adopted code of morality about HOW we must be.

My Running passed at a lower priority on my list of values after my baby was born, and I dedicated myself to HIM for the first two years.

 I didn’t exercise that much; all my energy was on being a MOM, not even a wife. 

  • My principal value was being a MOM. Then things develop, grow, and I resume my love for health and running. But it was an almost 2-year impasse.

It’s been years since I found out that “Being a FULL-TIME MOM” doesn’t longer serve me because I have now almost an adult that needs “independence.” 

My interaction, priorities, and values had to change to let him grow.

Have you heard about the “Empty nest syndrome”? Yep, our values are changing when kids leave the house.

 Suppose you are in your 30s and single and want a kid. Well. 

In that case, your biology (if you are a woman) focus and values will move you towards that value. 

Same if you are men and family is one of your top values.

Our actual values, the ones that make us happy, and thrive, the Genuine ONES, are like our fingerprints, the activities we are drowning to, the internal compass that propel us to the people, things, and events that fulfilled the US.

Beauty, Fashion, Travel, Sports, Movies, Golf, Music, Photography, Writing, reading, studying, family events, and active social life.

We tend to minimize our likes and hobbies, but it is what we are at our best. And we always believe that we cannot make a living, enjoy the most of the time, etc. and YET….

We remember everything about them; we are happier, organized, present, and focused. We feel “powerful” in that area. Inspired.

Like when our mom complains that our room is a mess, all our music LPs are in PERFECT ORDER. 

Or we forget the homework but remember all the statistics of the last ten years of our favorite team. Yep, that kind of stuff.

We need to DIG DEEP to discover our actual values and then link them with the things and tasks that we DON’T LIKE but have to do, like exercising, Healthy living, Studding, Working, etc.

REMEMBER, we are always drawn to our real values. We still act upon them, so maybe you think you hate your job or that you should be THIS OR THAT. Still, in reality, you are confused about adopting values that society imposes on us.

One of the most eye-opening examples is Michelle Obama.

In an interview, Michelle talked about how Barack jokes with her when they coincide with an old love from Michelle, working as a Chef in a famous restaurant while having dinner.

  • He said: See, if you have married him, now you will be a chef’s wife
  • She responds to him: NO, He would be the President of the United States

This joke talks about the “Power” of Michelle but shows her firm value of being a WIFE AND A LOVER. A woman that makes her priority in life to be a total supporter of the man she loves.

And I said a Wife because she did not stay at home with her kids while Barack was working on his career as a politician; she always was at his side and left their kids with her mom.

There you have, a powerful, strong, attractive, intelligent Harvard Graduate woman who leaves all that to become her man’s constant supporter and companion.

And don’t get me wrong, she is much more than a wife, but ONE of her values is Cleary being a WIFE, and she showed that with her actions.

So next time you think being a stay-at-home mom, a wife, a partner, a writer, a CEO, a Musician, a Belly dancer, a comedian, or whatever crazy thing you would like to be, it’s crazy, don’t.

DO IT.

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